Growing up you have many different ideas of what you want to do or grow up to be ‘when you’re older’, for me, I never really had one set dream that I wanted. I was the kid in the class that one week wanted to be a vet and the next week an actress! I went through them all.
There was no doubt that I was creative, most of my ambitions were to do with Art, Drama or music… And most of my childhood I followed the dreams as they came. I went to drama classes with the fabulous Red Rose Chain, although I was never that good at acting, I was part of a group of ambitious and talented people and being part of a production was thrilling to me, as well as learning how to understand Shakespeare. These were some of the best years of my life.
When I was at school we had to choose a placement for ‘work experience’.. My choice? At a school teaching 4-5 year olds ( well sharpening pencils and playing with the children at break time! ) but why I chose this at the time I have no idea, it may have been a whim of wanting to teach. I also went on to do work experience at a Vets and a radio station!
I remember having a very strong ambition to work on film sets, I wanted desperately to be part of film production and I’m happy to say that over the years I have done this, mostly independent short films but films none the less.
In America in 2005 I took ‘acting for film’ classes in Boston, Massachusetts and came away with 3 short films and also a student film I was in!
I have participated in 2 48 hour film projects, the first being with a wide group of people from different backgrounds and a majority already established actors and from the BBC ( I worked behind scenes ) and this spurred my husband and I to go onto doing the second as our own film company and create a great film that was a fun challenge.
At college another ambition of mine was to do holistic therapy and through a year full time at college I went on to get a diploma in holistic therapies ( aromatherapy, Swedish body massage and reflexology) which was fantastic but due to my Hypermobility Syndrome I am unable to do anymore.
Other random things I wanted to do included being a dolphin trainer, ride host for Disneyland, professional dancer, midwife and I’m sure if I thought about it the list would continue.
Fast forward to 2010 and I became a mum. My view of the world has changed and so have my dreams. I no longer know what I want to do ( other than bringing up my wonderful son ) I don’t have an ambition.
What do you do when you lose your drive and don’t know in your head what the future holds? I guess I am limited in what I can do having the Hypermobility as it puts a stop on almost anything physical.
How do I find Me?