Having a bit of a low at the moment. So much going on from being worried about my dad (who is better now thank god!) to now worrying about a lump I have found – I have had a lot of lovely ladies on Twitter sharing their   experiences so I feel slightly better but until I’ve been to the hospital that worry won’t go completely.

I had such an amazing time at Cybermummy at the weekend and I feel this low is part of a comedown. I’m prone to depression anyway and the pain I’m in daily contributes to the feeling like I want to sink into the floor.
 Last night I shut myself in the toilet because I felt so low but there wasn’t a massive reason for it , it was just how I was feeling.

Luke is having some awful temper tantrums, he’s 16 months now and when he’s angry he bangs his head on the floor repeatedly, hurting himself. When you tell him to stop, he does it more! He also is going through a ‘scream at the top of his lungs because he loves the sound’ stage. I’m getting quite a few dirty looks when I’m out shopping or in a cafe…. seriously, if I COULD shut him up I would, it’s not like I LIKE the noise either! and no, I’m not a bad mother, he’s a 16 month old toddler, get over yourself! I guess those that do stare haven’t had children themselves.

I have reapplied for the bariatric surgery, there’s a possibility I will be turned down again but then again there is always a chance. So I’m waiting to hear back from my doctor to see if it’s a go or not.

Taking Luke to the doctors as when he whines or cries he makes a ‘rinsing’ sound in the back of his throat… mum was round last night and said it sounds like what you’d expect from a child with a cleft palate, so now I’m worried that he may have a hole in his palate?? hopefully it will be OK and nothing to fret about. 

Gonna sign off and stop the moaning now. On a happy note, I now write for the online magazine Brew Drinking Thinkings (from July) I am the Disability writer and can be found on Twitter as @BDT_Disability .
 Enjoy the happy pictures.

Oh and I’m in the process of moving over to WordPress, so hold on, it may be a bumpy ride!

Here’s a cute vid to cheer you up!


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