Breastfeeding – My untold story.


When I was pregnant with Luke, there was no doubt in my mind I would breastfeed him, formula never crossed my mind. I thought it would be easy and having bigger breasts I thought even easier! I knew about the whole argument of breast versus bottle and wanted my baby to have ‘the best’ I could give him.

When getting all my baby stuff together, a friend asked me if I had bought bottles and a steriliser… my immediate thought was why?.. I was going to breastfeed! But with a bit of hesitation I bought a Tommee Tippee steriliser and set of bottles and put them right at the back of my cupboard with no thought.

Little did I know that my cheeky little boy would insist on entering the world 6 weeks early as a total suprise, I wasn’t ready, i’m pretty sure my body wasn’t ready and due to his birth I wasn’t able to latch him on straight after birth.

We tried about a few hours after he was born in SCBU but he wasn’t interested so I was set up with a breast pump to get the valuable colostrum for my tint premature monkey.

Expressing was hard, physically and mentally. I was emotionally exhausted and he was in SCBU for 10 days. I never managed to pump that much and we tried latching him on countless times but his suck reflex wasn’t very good and we both were just getting really upset.

While he was in SCBU they were topping him up with a formula designed for premature babies called Nutriprem 2, made by Cow and Gate. His blood sugar level kept dropping so these top ups were essential, along with any breastmilk I could squeeze out for him.

When he was discharged I came thankful to have my back up bottles and steriliser in my cupboard! I mix breast fed, bottle fed and expressed until he was 6 weeks old, so I like to think he got the good stuff!

I was made to feel really bad when I eventually gave in to formula but mu HV agreed it was for the best as both me and baby were getting tense and it was affecting the bonding experience.

What i’m trying to get at is however you feed your baby that is acceptable, I wish I had been more open minded about bottle feeding, because of my high hopes of breastfeeding I worked myself up when I couldn’t do it.

My little guy is almost 8 months and weighs approximatly 20lbs and is still thriving on the Nutriprem 2 and we are both happy for that. Yes I do sometimes feel sad that I couldn’t continue breastfeeding and I hope with my next child I am able too but at the same time, my little boy is healthy and happy so how can anyone be against anything that makes their baby thrive, be it breast or bottle.

Il definatly have the bottles ready next time just incase and I won’t beat myself up If I can’t.

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9 thoughts on “Breastfeeding – My untold story.

  1. Mum knows best!
    You have listened to your body and did what it told you – must have worked – you have a VERY happy, healthy, active baby.

  2. hey hun great blog Luke is looking great i hate all these breast vs bottle things aslong as baby is happy what does it matter x

    • exactly 🙂 thanks for commenting, I just want others not to pressure themselves so much as things don’t always go as we expect or plan them too, most important thing is that the baby is getting the nutrition it needs. ive got a strong bond with Luke now 🙂 xx

  3. We’ve chatted on twitter and compared notes about our 6 week prem babies. For me, I succeeded with breastfeeding. I am stubborn and the hospital were clearly not going to let him go home until his sucking reflex kicked in and he was settled at the breast (it’s better for their statistics if they send you home breastfeeding!!).

    I too found expressing difficult in the first few days, but partly cause I just didn’t ‘get’ that it was necessary. The very first time, it hurt so much (I could feel my uterus contracting back down and that hurt more than the nipples) and almost nothing came out. It felt degrading and pointless. But after a couple of days, I’d got my head round the fact that it was for everyone’s benefit, so I wrote myself a daily schedule and stuck to it. Breastfeed then pump, every 3 hours. Was awkward to fit in visitors, etc, etc, but I kept at it as I realised it was important.

    I wonder now, what I would have done if someone at the hospital had said to me “if you were happy to bottlefeed, you could probably take him home tomorrow.” Would I have? Or would I have stuck to my guns and breastfed? I honestly don’t know.

    I’m sorry someone made you feel bad about giving up. At the end of the day, the BEST thing to do, is whatever makes mum and baby happy. If breastfeeding is causing a lot of distress then it is better all round to give up and switch to formula. But new mums need to be able to ask for help the second they need it and not after a while of struggling.

    I’m really hoping I can be there for my friends when their first time comes and also that my second time (due in 9 weeks time) goes as well as I am planning!

  4. I’ve done both. With TB I gave up at three months and wished I’d done so much sooner. It just wasn’t right for either of us. This time around I’m still bfing Lil’s Mister and he’s almost nine months. It’s been tough since I’ve been back at work so he gets topped up with formula during the day because I just can’t pump enough but at the weekends he’s back to the boob with full force.
    If I have another I’ll definitely be a lot more relaxed about it. There’s more to life than the insistence that breast is best.

  5. Hi Laura,

    We’re writing from the tommee tippee press office and just wanted to say it was great to read your piece on your experiences with Luke when he was first born.

    We are so pleased that we were able to help you with our tommee tippee steriliser at such a personal time.

    Please do get in touch if you would like advice or information on the range…

    Best,
    Anna on behalf of tommee tippee
    Maybornteam@redconsultancy.com
    http://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/
    You can also follow us @tommeetippee_UK or become a fan of the Facebook page- Tommee Tippee Baby Products.

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