When I was pregnant with Luke, there was no doubt in my mind I would breastfeed him, formula never crossed my mind. I thought it would be easy and having bigger breasts I thought even easier! I knew about the whole argument of breast versus bottle and wanted my baby to have ‘the best’ I could give him.
When getting all my baby stuff together, a friend asked me if I had bought bottles and a steriliser… my immediate thought was why?.. I was going to breastfeed! But with a bit of hesitation I bought a Tommee Tippee steriliser and set of bottles and put them right at the back of my cupboard with no thought.
Little did I know that my cheeky little boy would insist on entering the world 6 weeks early as a total suprise, I wasn’t ready, i’m pretty sure my body wasn’t ready and due to his birth I wasn’t able to latch him on straight after birth.
We tried about a few hours after he was born in SCBU but he wasn’t interested so I was set up with a breast pump to get the valuable colostrum for my tint premature monkey.
Expressing was hard, physically and mentally. I was emotionally exhausted and he was in SCBU for 10 days. I never managed to pump that much and we tried latching him on countless times but his suck reflex wasn’t very good and we both were just getting really upset.
While he was in SCBU they were topping him up with a formula designed for premature babies called Nutriprem 2, made by Cow and Gate. His blood sugar level kept dropping so these top ups were essential, along with any breastmilk I could squeeze out for him.
When he was discharged I came thankful to have my back up bottles and steriliser in my cupboard! I mix breast fed, bottle fed and expressed until he was 6 weeks old, so I like to think he got the good stuff!
I was made to feel really bad when I eventually gave in to formula but mu HV agreed it was for the best as both me and baby were getting tense and it was affecting the bonding experience.
What i’m trying to get at is however you feed your baby that is acceptable, I wish I had been more open minded about bottle feeding, because of my high hopes of breastfeeding I worked myself up when I couldn’t do it.
My little guy is almost 8 months and weighs approximatly 20lbs and is still thriving on the Nutriprem 2 and we are both happy for that. Yes I do sometimes feel sad that I couldn’t continue breastfeeding and I hope with my next child I am able too but at the same time, my little boy is healthy and happy so how can anyone be against anything that makes their baby thrive, be it breast or bottle.
Il definatly have the bottles ready next time just incase and I won’t beat myself up If I can’t.